One foot in front of the other...

...and maybe I'll get somewhere.


(no subject)

Halp pls with getting back into regular writing. I used to just write because it drove me crazy not to; it still kind of does?? But it's not the same. The anxiety blocks me instead of driving me. @.@


Using Skyrim Mods!

Yo so I am not the ultimate authority on this, and most of what I've learned is via trial and error, so if you run into trouble, hit online tutorials. Please bear with me if I explain basic stuff you already know.


  1. Install Skyrim through Steam

    • I dunno how else one would play PC Skyrim, so if there's any difference between Steam and Not Steam, I don't know what it might be. Consider all my advice to be predicated on using it through your Steam account.

    • If you don't have the DLCs—Hearthfire, Dragonborn, and Dawnguard—I highly recommend them.

  2. Install Creation Kit through Steam

    • Creation Kit is primarily used for making one's own mods, but having it can be useful even if you're just playing; there are tweaks you can do to other people's mods that can improve and/or customize your setup, and which are relatively simple to do (such as switching which equipment slot a piece of clothing or jewelry uses, so that you can wear two things at the same time that you otherwise couldn't). You don't actually need CK, but if you do decide to download it for the above reasons, I can do an additional short guide to doing aforementioned tweaks.

  3. Download and Install These Things, In This Order: Nexus Mod Manager, LOOT (stable), TES5Edit

    • These are for managing your mods (manual installing is a bitch and manual uninstalling is the only actual evil on this earth), cleaning your master files (makes the game run better and prevents some mod conflicts), and making sure your load order is optimal (bad load order can do anything from causing weird overlap, lag, or annoyance in-game, to causing instant crash-to-desktop when you try to start up Skyrim).

    • When you've installed Nexus Mod Manager, right click on the shortcut and select "Run as Administrator." (Alternatively, right click on the shortcut, select Properties->Compatibility, and check "Run this program as an Administrator.") A tutorial for using it is here but it's pretty straightforward.

  4. Go to This Video and Do the Thing: Skyrim Mod Tool TES5EDIT : Cleaning your master files (REVISED) (sorry for apparent irritation due to droning narrator)

    • This is a very thorough and easy-to-follow guide for cleaning the Skyrim master files. It doesn't take much time. The game's master files have a lot of duplicate records and whatnot, which don't impact how it runs unless you're going to use mods.

  5. Download and Install SKSE
    • This is a script extender for Skyrim that many mods require in order to function. Install it through NMM.

This is your basic setup for playing with mods. Do all your further mod downloading through NMM, as it's safest and most stable. Every time you install or uninstall mods, you should run LOOT last thing before you start the game.


  1. SkyUI

    • There are great number of mods that require SkyUI in order to function; additionally, it's a huge improvement for mouse-and-keyboard users for accessing and organizing your in-game inventory. There is basically no downside to this mod unless you inexplicably hate the way it looks.

  2. Skyrim: High Resolution Texture Pack (Free DLC) on Steam

    • These are the official high-resolution packs, and even if you end up using other graphics mods, this one's a pretty good base.

  3. Unofficial Skyrim Patches

    • This is an ongoing mod project that corrects hundreds of glitches that you might otherwise run into in-game. A little down the page there are links to the Unofficial Patches for all the DLC as well.

After this point, other mods depend on what you want to do with your game. There are tons of mods that increase realism and immersion, and there are just as many screwy-ass mods that do things like turn all the dragons in the game into Thomas the Tank Engine or Macho Man Randy Savage. I'll include a list of the mods I'm running, though, if you'd like somewhere to start. Past that, peruse Nexus and love your Google.

AS A SIDE NOTE, I'm told you're worried about viruses from 3rd-party mods. If you use Nexus Mod Manager for all your mods, you should be fine; Nexus screens all file uploads for that and updates pretty regularly on their protection. I've not had an issue yet. Keep your antivirus shit up to date, etc.


NOTE: I've obviously redone this, and I did so with an eye towards a starting game on a mid- to low-performance machine (no offense meant to your rig, just don't know the specs). These are the settings I use on my low-end graphics card, to maximize framerate without borking the graphics. At the end, there's a list of mods that I've downloaded but have currently disabled, pending a graphics card that can handle them better.

Here is some additional stuff that helped me get smoothest gameplay with minimal graphic loss: SkyrimPrefs.ini and SkyrimEditorPrefs.ini

The FIRST link has a copy of my SkyrimPrefs.ini file. This file is located on your computer, after installing Skyrim, at Documents -> My Games - > Skyrim. The manual tweaks I've made are intended to increase fps and minimize process load. I HIGHLY recommend that you make a backup of your own SkyrimPrefs.ini file before putting mine in. I edited mine based on suggestions in this link.

The SECOND link to SkyrimEditorPrefs.ini is only for if you downloaded Creation Kit; it enables you to actually edit the official DLCs or use any of the assets from them. If you don't make the changes to this file that I did, Creation Kit will crash when you attempt to load more than just the basic vanilla game files. The filepath for this file depends on your installation folder for the game, but it should be something close to C: -> Program Files (x86) -> Steam -> SteamApps -> common -> Skyrim. This filepath also takes you to the Data folder, which will contain all your installed mods, official DLCs, and main game files. This is super useful to know even if you don't have Creation Kit. I suggest making a shortcut on your desktop to your Data folder.

Super Useful Console Command: Hit the (~) key when in-game, and type set timescale to 10. This makes it so instead of twenty minutes passing in-game for every one minute, only ten will pass. You can set the timescale even lower if you prefer, but the absolute lowest you can safely go is 2. I personally use 5. A list of other useful console commands is here.

Audio, Sounds, and Music

City, Farm, and Town Alterations

Companions, Marriage Partners, and Followers

Convenience Mods

Custom Player Homes and Rebuilds

Custom Weapons, Equipment, and Apparel

Economy Tweaks

Environmental, Lighting, and FX Tweaks

Hair, Face, and Body Alterations

Map and Quest Markers

Models and Textures

Mounts and Horses

New and Custom Animations

New Lands and Dungeons

New Vendors

Patches and Bug Fixes

Quest Tweaks and Overhauls

Realism and Immersion

Skill and Perk Alterations

Travel-Friendly World Alterations



My graphics card/computer setup in general is apparently middling-poor for Skyrim. Ergo, there are lots of graphic improvement mods and script-heavy mods I can only run at the cost of smooth gameplay. You can experiment with adding these for your own and see where you balance out best.

Convenience Mods (Disabled)

Economy Tweaks (Disabled)

Environmental, Lighting, and FX Tweaks (Disabled)

Hair, Face, and Body Alterations (Disabled)

Models and Textures (Disabled)

Quest Tweaks and Overhauls (Disabled)

Realism and Immersion (Disabled)


Shout into Void

How many folks are still around here? I'm considering going easier on Tumblr so.


Long and Rambling Notes on TDW: Jessica Pontificates

So I'm back from basically nowhere! Mostly for you, Anne. I like you. Also I feel like you might discuss all the below stuff with me, because.

Disclaimer: I liked this movie. The first big chunk of stuff below makes it look like I hated it, but I’m just getting the bad stuff out of the way first.

when everything but the acting is a failureCollapse )


Long time away

So I've been kind of not on LJ, unless you count my secondary account where I keep all the Marvel notes, for quite some time.  I could say it's because of Tumblr, but mostly it's because I've been flailing and sinking emotionally.  I'm trying to do better.

Still getting adjusted to the new house (and still unpacking, because Jeremy has done none of it except once when I insisted he upacked a box of dishes), and getting used to having my best friend as a tenant.  Nice to have so much room for the cats!  I'm hoping to have the kitchen repainted if it's not to expensive, and definitely enjoying having an office again.

Other than that, no writing has really happened, and I've buried myself in the Marvel game because it's all I've got energy for besides work.  I got promoted, which is awesome, but it's also exhausting, and I rarely have enough spoons to do anything remotely social.  The exception is band practice because the band has a paid faire gig in June (!) and we're trying to be ready.  Will be visiting Laci in July!  :D

Just wanted to check in and let you guys know I'm not dead yet.

punisher 2

I only have ten minutes

Quick update on everything:

*Ended up essentially moving back into the apartment and will be paying 1/2 rent for January there because Randy didn't find a tenant yet anyway. Still closing on the 11th and spending every day moving. I just spent my entire lunch break at work moving things, and I'll do it again tomorrow. Thank goodness it's a 4-day weekened because of New Year's.

*Asked my aunt whether I should come out to my grandparents and she was all like, "Oh, Grandma already knows." O.o

*Didn't get anyone anything for Christmas and am a failure.

*Doing all the gaming things and trying not to blow up at Sal over it; had a kind of great heart-to-heart last week so maybe things will be better. Have officially moved up from Assistant Judge to Co-Judge because lbr, he can't possibly run the game without me anymore.

*My therapist is reccommending medication for my depression because it hasn't gotten any better in the last few months and has gotten worse over the last three weeks.

*Started a 'Thor' fanfic because my brain made me.

*Totally stalled on YYH stuff and it's making me sad.

*Really feeling bad about continually bailing on band practice but I'm so fucking busy with moving that I can't even.

*Why did it snow.

circle k

Housing Update!

So!  It's been a while since I updated, or at least it's been long enough that things.  Our financing went through, and inspections came back just fine, and we're closing on January 11th!  :D

Of course, this presents complications of its own.  We're two separate apartments + four cats, and the sellers are living in the new place until closing, and Jeremy and I are trying to avoid paying full rent for January for our current apartments.  We're having to scramble to pack all our stuff and find a storage unit to rent, plus somewhere to board the cats, and waiting to hear back on which days we'll have access to the new house's garage (we're promised at least a couple of days sometime before New Year's, but it's been nonspecific) so we can move all our furniture there.  Then it's time to freeload on family until we actually take possession of the new place.  We haven't even been inside since the second showing.


Otherwise, things have been quiet; had a great time today at my company's holiday party, despite that this is uncommon, because I got to hang out with really cool coworkers and take lol pictures with my phone.  I'm... not posting them here, because I'm only in one of them and I look terrible.  Getting off work early tomorrow (score!) so I can finish backlogged game work, and hoping to have a chance to do some baking with my mother next week.  About to start writing a new one-shot.  I'm busily procrastinating all the really important, deadline-having things that need doing within the next couple of weeks, because I'm waaaaaaay too stressed to handle that much crap and I'm trying to make Jeremy do it.  XD

I swear that when I'm inside the new house again, I will take pictures.

EDIT:  Oh, and P.S.?  I have played about ten minutes of 'Journey', and ohmygod beautiful and pathos and agh.  There goes my life.

kurama eye

On liking geek things while also being female.

This got long so cut.Collapse )



So.  Today at work.

1).  Get told by team lead that I have the option to do something; get reprimanded by manager for doing it without authorization.

2.)  Assist fellow employee in training someone because otherwise we'd run out of things for him to do; get reprimanded because "we need to have only one person training him."

3.)  Get shuffled to other area despite that area already having too many people.

The day's only half over.  I suppose it could improve, but I'm not holding my breath.

so mad

Still Failing

So I almost started writing something last night, but was curtailed by bedtime and then by hating it in the morning.  I feel like there's some kind of condition missing for me to actually get writing done.  Is it the utter lack of direct, detailed feedback, as I've been suspecting, because I evidently stall out unless someone tells me how I'm doing?  Is it that I need a change of venue, which won't even happen until January?  Is it that I've been sternly told to not jot down anything on my notepad at work because my supervisor has no concept of keeping one's mind clear so one can have some hope of maintaining proper focus on one's litany of repetitive, monotonous tasks?  Is it that I've spent all my free time obsessively re-watching 'Ever After' and writing HTML code instead of doing anything that actually stimulates me intellectually and creatively, because I'm too tired to do much else?  But there's Marvel, which does hit my creative buttons, and I haven't even written for that in a while (last night's abortive snippet was Marvel-related, though, so I guess that's not entirely accurate).  I did get a sestina written last week, although I'm not sure how I like it; attempts to begin more poetry have so far been unsuccessful.

At least I'm being productive in regards to game, even if my therapist says I'm clearly doing too many things and should stop volunteering for yet more things whenever I feel like no one appreciates my efforts.  (Seriously, you guys, this is what my master post for the game looks like.  I have a problem.)

IDK.  I think I just go through periods where I hate everything I write and think my descriptions are too maudlin or too stock and rage!quit out of frustration until something inspires me again.  Waiting for that to happen.

I really miss Adara.


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